Dr Sears Vs Gina Ford (Breast feeding)

Today I will share about Breastfeeding

I wanted to succeed in this breast feeding thing, I armed myself with loads of theories but it was a rough road. It didn't help that the people around me were advocates of the FORMULA. 

Victoria: She was the only baby I know that hates milk. - So I thought. Feeding V was always a chore. I started off wanting to bottle feed since I was not sure if this breastfeeding could work. She was great in the 1st few months then the drama started and she sucked at drinking.. We started reading and it could be the nipple confusion,  teat (bigger hole) then it was too hard, we had them changed to a different brand etc. I went though NUK, AVENT, MEDELA, PIGEON, good old traditional TOLLYJOY. I had a array of bottles and teats, yet she was not happy with them. We were on Formula in the 1st few month as new parents, we struggle with trying to understand the child and most milk that was made, was dumped eventually. 

It was a struggle trying to find time to pump the milk. I woke up every 3 hours at night to pump, hardly slept and had to look after myself in the day.She was NOT a child that is happy being alone. V needed cuddles, kisses, me singing, me talking, me within 15 cm from her. I was not able to do most of it with funnels stuck to the boobies. I relented in having to latch her. Now that was another set of theories all together. I read up coz if it was 'Meals on Demand', it will pretty much her stuck to me. 

But circumstances was such that I should because it will help me emotionally- it was tough finding to breathe with Victoria. Bathing, eating, simple tasks like going to do a pee will get a scream from her. So I decided to continue BF as it will help V in her growth and immunity, Me in my balance of wanting to be a great mum since I was not working and it should be in favour for us.

I stopped pumping and started to latch. V was amazed by the fact she didn't see the need to press the 'call bell' and there was service almost immediately EVERY TIME. I found some peace finally as I wasn't running amok in my own house trying to find time to pump! It all worked out well!

Then it came the part that she wants my boob ALWAYS. Smelling me was The Most important thing for V. Trev had a hard time trying to fulfil his role. In fact, everyone had a hard time trying to 'help' me look after her.

Many a time I wonder if that was a the way to go. But to see her grow so healthy and hardly falls sicks was our compliment. Attachment parenting is really not for every parents as this drains the brain cells QUICK. 

Kate: She is a natural drinker, like I mention in Sleeping post, she drank 150ml on the day we got discharged. K was on 90 ml in the 1st week! The fact that she was drinking so fast, my boobs could not match up!  Okie, I slept more then I should... skipped the night pumping *opps. But i had reason coz i had blood clots and if anyone had blood clots before will know... ITS F PAINFUL!!! milking was not a priority! Serious!

By the time I recovered and wanted to start on my 3 hourly pump, the motor of my pump was dying a slow death. It took 5 days for me to receive my new one! So I was 3 weeks late and trying to up my supply. K latches on only in the day (i zzz at night), I could not match up fast enough. But interestingly I didn't fret. To me, it will eventually match up. I didn't use the pump much except when I was out. She is exclusively latched on when I'm around. I didn't stock up like with V. Why u may ask? Its because I stay with my In Laws now with helpers. They DO NOT understand how engorged a mummy may get , how much work goes into pumping that bottle of milk. There was once I pumped and left it in the fridge... they actually threw it away thinking it was stale milk.

Frustrated, yes I do. But I worked around, If I do have pumped milk, it goes to another fridge upstairs and only Trev gets to feed her. Because I believe I will go into another drama about teaching them how to heat up the milk, the 3 days in the fridge ruling etc.

Currently Im trying to up K's milk to 180 ml so that she misses 1 feed from me.... at least I can run out for 5 -6 hours. I have to make use of such privileges since Kate swaps from Boobs to bottles like a pro!

Routine seems to work better for us with Kate as we have many hands who are willing to help us. Although I latch her like V, she doesn't see the need to smell me or have to stick by me hourly. She is actually happy going around and being pat to sleep in different arms. But if u realise, I did try to use her method and it did lead to supply issues and am trying to tweak it and make it work... For me that is, I have read on success stories on CLB method with EBF.

Dr Sears Vs Gina Ford (sleeping)

I finally am qualified to write this post, mainly because I have 2 child of different ends of the spectrum!!!

Victoria was a High need baby, something I found out after much sweat, frustrations and tears, It was a tough road since my book I had prepared was TCB by Gina Ford. So can u imagine?? Yes it was argghhh.... So today I will write my experience.

Sleep (co-sleep):

Victoria- The day we brought her back home, it was the start of THE sleepiness nights. My mum came over to help us in the day and in the end she stayed for the night. The 3 of us walked V the whole night- each taking turns. I googled and it quickly became that its a new environment and baby is unsure etc etc.  She was swaddled, low light, had music/white noise.... it was not magic but it helped a little. The last I recalled that night when I walked her, there was sight of dawn before I collapse from fatigue. We started from 7 pm the last night.

The next few days seemed better, she slept in her cot at night and in the playpen of the hall. All seemed great. Till 1.5 week later, the fussiness started and its also mayhem - starts from 5pm-9pm. I googled, it was shared that BB is fussy always at the time the pregnant mummy moved the most whilst being pregnant- to most it will have to be dinner time.

We managed to accept the fact that it happens and sort of "lived" by it. I get loads of comments it was the lack of milk *rolls eyes...

Then it came the flipping, teething... also know as The Wonder Weeks which they claim that the 5, 8, 12, 19, 28, 37,6, 55, 64 and 75 weeks, there will be an increase of Crankiness, Clingliness, Crying. Of course, you get the Growth Spurts at 3, 5, 9 12, 15, 18 etc weeks. Which means if you look at it all, parents (US) don't sleep :D

I gave up on the cot !! Every time I put her down, she wakes up and our 1 hour of patting and walking was in vain. So we ended up co-sleeping. V was latching onto me the whole night. Moving was a privileged that time. By moving, I meant..... turning myself and trying to get myself in a nice position to sleep. If I happen to wake her up, its a long 1 hour before she falls back asleep. Self soothing was a no no for V. Pacifier didn't work!!!!You can read it here Fussy babies and sleeping habits

I eventually succumbed to baby wearing which rocked the house!!! She sleeps in it.... Amen

I had to adopt Dr Sears method for Attachment parenting because it flopped miserably with Gina ford's routine ways. I tried to fix a time for her to sleep but we ended up fighting and it gets exhausting. Clocks didn't exist in those days.

Kate: The 1st night was pretty much about adjusting since we have Victoria around. Trev had a tough 1st night adjusting, but he soon realise that as long u put milk to her mouth, she gets appeased. It was 150ml in 2 hours for a 3 day old baby. WE knew immediately this was a milk monster. This time round, we were "smarter" and got ourselves a live-in nanny for the month who came 2 days later. She sleeps, sleeps, sleeps. Most of them time I look at her and wonder if she is alive. Me and Trev was amazed and thought that the nanny has some supernatural powers!!!

K was such a easy baby, I latch her, she falls asleep at the boob and never wakes up till like 3 hours. (then I had bf issues - will explain later) You can move her and she still sleeps. As she grows older, sleeping does need a little coaxing. But the night is relatively easy, she sleeps straight 12 hours since 2 months old- means she doesn't wake up to play like how V used to.  The 1st month she was doing her dump at 4 am ....  but eventually stopped.

For K, as long u latch her a little, it goes another few hours. I think for now its 10pm, 6 am for milk. We sort of believe that she maybe a pacifier baby, but decided not even go there. Just have to bear with her fussiness at time. K can be really loud SUDDENLY -since she is most of the time contented. Main reason for her outburst are always about her gums.

For Kate, I used Gina Ford Routines (some) and it worked pretty well for her. She is like clockwork. We wake up about 9am and roll about for an hour. She showers, sleep and wakes up for milk at 2pm, sleep/or play, drinks at 6pm, sleeps, showers, drinks at 9pm. Timing goes off about 1 hours (+/-) We have to look at the clock to understand what was the cry about. If its not milk time, then we will have to entertain her. I can't say I follow all since I am already a parent that is used to attachment parenting. I just have to tweak slightly to suit our current lifestyle. Oh I DO NOT USE CRY IT OUT method. Just not our styles.