Being SAHM

SAHM: Stay at home mom

Its been 4 mths, time passes really fast with this little one. We wake up everyday at about 1130-1200, its usually her coos and singing that wakes me up for I can sleep more haha... I have watched her many times and pretend to be sleeping, she will always look at me to see if I'm awake, if not she will lie there playing with her fingers and continue singing. She waits for that moment when I open my eyes and will always greet me with a beautiful smile. DD T always waits for this moment during the weekends and absoutely loves it. He says it melts his heart. For me, I feel really blessed to be able to spend all my time with her despite how difficult it may be.

For some mummies they say the 1st 3 months was a breeze as their babies sleeps alot. But for our case, its totally different. We had a hard time in the intial stage as she was crying alot and didn't know what she wanted.

I read alot and tried implement all sorts of routines into her life for that was what the books says with advices from the elders. Feeding her at a schedule, sleeping at certain times, no co-sleeping, no association of any sorts to falling asleep, strapping her in her infant carseat etc.. But you know, they all didn't work for her, she will be screaming alot, crying non-stop. It all changed that one day when we went to get her 6 in 1 jab, after getting her jab, she screamed so loud and cried till she had no more voice, (mind you, she was about 2 1/2 mths then) the PD looked up and asked us if she does this often. We were like ermm 2-3 times but she cries alot. PD told us that she is a "BREATH-HOLDER" baby, meaning a baby capable of crying till she turns blue cause of breath holding. She advised not to allow BB [V] to continue with this behaviour as she once had a baby that had fits because of this.

I remembered we were so lost, from that day onwards we never impose any form of the "routines" and we followed her cues instead. We let her wake up whenever, feed her when she cries for milk, stopped putting her into her crib(she hates it) she co-sleeps with us, sleeps on me if she wants to, I did whatever she wanted. Lo and behold! that was the time that she stopped wanting the pacifier and has since stopped screaming.

It made me realized one thing, routines are created so that the adults have a easier time. Human beings have been moulded to follow the clock so that they can plan their time better. But does babies actually know what is time all about? Since that day, I have sinced stopped looking at the clock and followed my heart as I feel that my baby thrives best at this environment. The grandparents noted the difference in BB [V] too, for she is always smiling and hardly cries now. I guess everthing will fall into place one day without forcing.

So back to what we do at home, after I wake up I will let her watch OKTO while I shower and prepare her bath. After her bath, we will play for a while on her mat, do a bit of flipping, turning, "crawling". The minute she starts grumbling, I will move her to her rocker chair where she will watch either of her "Baby Einstein", "Baby Signs", "Hi-5". During this time I will run to do my things or if I have nothing to do I will watch with her and surf the internet at the same time. Feed her or nap or change diaper after that, in no particular order. We usually do a 2-3 hr nap at 5pm and wake up just in time for DD T to come back from work, have dinner, play as a family. By 11pm both of them will be in their "lala" land, while I finally get my "me" time.

Like what you read, I don't do housework. Maybe do laundry one week once, only her clothes or home clothes. Any clothes that requires ironing is packed in a bag and brought to Aunty Nita. We take turns to drymop the floor, whoever is free to do it and major cleaning is done by a part time helper. No cooking as we have dinner delivery. So you can see the time is totally devoted to BB[V], DD T has zero expectations from me as he knows the demands of our girl, for she doesn't like to be left alone. It is okay to be doing something else as long I am next to her.

I really admire my downstairs neighbour, she washes loads, like 8 bamboo sticks with extension of 20 hangers hung on her windows, (us is max 4 sticks)... Cooks power packed dinner, mainly curries for the smells are heavens! looks after 2 young boys and is preggie with her 3rd! WTF right... I pity her lots, poor thing. I mean I admire her alot but what ass life is that? No helper you know, pregnant you know, 2 boys you know, her young boy is less than 1 yr old you know! Guess its normal for her religon. Bless her.

I guess the time will come when I return to the workforce but we have decided it will not be so soon. We got to sacrifice our expensive shopping and indulge in only what is necessary. But I am enjoying this, as I have been working full time since 18 years old. What better time to stop and smell the flowers for its only a few years out of many till 65 years old right? Maybe in years to come, retirement age will be 75? Then taking a year or so off isn't that bad. What better time to do so by watching the princess blossom.