Motherhood

080808 the day I resigned

So its been about 1 year of me not working, not earning my own keeps, no indispensable cash to buy what ever I want, hardly pampering myself and no clubbing.

Yes there are times I wonder if I should go back to work to get away from looking after the princess, as it gets really frustrating as there is no outlet to release as this is a 24/7 job. I deal with the the toughest people in my old job but nothing beats this, one can't shout, scream, scold, curse, so it just bottles up. All the negativity, frustrations, anger, argghh..  

If one complains about pregnancy, try motherhood... all the aches, pain, discomfort is nothing compared to the 1st few months of sleepless nights, the pumping of milk, the coaxing, the walking... yes, newborn were the worst period, my darkest clouds, the thunderstorms. 

For my girlfriends; delivered and soon to be, please be warned

I can still relate to any new parents' frustrations as the memories are still vivid... We didn't have any confinement nanny to assist us, so the torture started from day 1, remembered the tears I shed out of sheer tiredness.  I hardly slept at night for DD T never helped with the night feeds, managing  1 hour's sleep at the most from 12-6 am, no joke... I pump for about an hour, wash up, warm up the milk and wait for the cry, feeding took about 1/2 -1hr, rest about 1/2 hr, bb starts her poo, change diaper and I start the cycle all over again. Honest, 1st month was not so vicious, try the 2nd n 3rd month it was hell!! 

The MOST difficult thing that I have ever accomplished in my life is breastfeeding!!!! so F&^%ing difficult, so time consuming, so tiring, so stressful, so demoralising... Many times I wanted to stop but I stood firm despite all the negativities. I'm not one that had over flowing breastmilk that u can feed a farm, it was sheer hard work, much tears, many many many vulgarities  to be where I am today...

My 1st time pumping... miserable :(

my hard work!!!

But it didn't last long as I didn't have any help, there wasn't any time to pump my milk. I mean literally no time!!! My gal needs to be carried ALL the time, resorted to latching her instead.... for my girl is a handful, bad days when she was young. (that's a whole other entry) 

I walked so much, my flights to london couldn't be compared, my feet ached so much I resorted to putting medicinal plaster on it as I couldn't walk, had to invest in a pair of crocs to block all impact to the aching feet . Remembered how I mention in investing in a hammock to soothe her to sleep, BB [V] refused to sleep anywhere but on me, has to be in my arms... at around 2-3 mths, she refused her cot... boring...

Oh yes the dark clouds cleared somewhere before 4 months.. 

I'm really blessed to have great girlfriends I can turn to whenever I'm online or they will periodically send me messages to check on me. Its really cool for them as they know when they trouble is brewing, like how I'm the expert keke... Its okay if one don't wish to follow their way but a listening ear helps heaps... 

Motherhood is a tough job...