Spoke to PD Dr Tan about her erratic behavior and after discussing for 15 mins on the phone, we decided to get her check. So its off to Dr Phang at Mount Elizabeth...
Well she is all fine, no neurological issues about her breath holding issues though the Dr Phang wasn't any Dr McSteamy but has 20 years of experience under his belt. This of course came with a hefty bill of $160 just to chit chat. But it was worth the money as now we now how to handle if this breath holding episode goes on.
He advised us to totally ignore her behaviour and bear with the screaming. NEVER give in at all and continue with whatever we are doing. Honest, this sounds real easy IF you have plenty of help at home. But for a hands on mummy, stay at home, no help mummy.. it is crazy!! Well I'm sure you guys know what I mean.
Dr also recommend to "detach" from her.. for her own good, apparently.... I must be HARD HEARTED so he says. I mention that I'm planning to wean her off breast-feeding and he was like "You have done a good job by doing it over a year.. its time" *sighs* How reluctant I may be sometimes it takes someone else to tell you to stop.
He too advise that being hard hearted will need me to be doing my things and allow help, whatever help it may be... to look after her as I go out to do my shopping, have tea or whatever. Basically take a break, cause sometimes kiddos knows who to manipulate - THE PARENTS. The issue now is that they do not understand discipline and reasoning.. so there is no point to try talking your way out or trying to discipline by using "time-out" as to everything now is play time. We were casually saying that we should send her to a childcare to "rough" it out and there always be people around her. But he frown upon the idea haha, besides the illnesses that childcare brings, nothing is compared to undivided attention.
Although she shows signs of intelligence, if this screaming behaviour doesn't stop by the time she knows how to talk... then is off to the behaviour therapist to "concoct" something out for everyone to follow - including her teachers. (Pm me if you need the contacts) I mention to him about BB[V] developments and her teachers evaluation of her in JG, that he can call her if he needs a professional opinion about her behaviour outside. He was real pleased when I told him BB[V] attends JG and he said "Great school and she learns good things there." This statement totally made me so continuing her school till 4 years old.. lol
Talk about great marketing... brain specialist leh! ahem neurologist.
10 comments:
reading this post of urs make me guilty esp the part on discipline as im a strong believer it's neber too early! looks like im too hard on Z! *blush*
Everyone has their own parenting styles lar babe... Do whatever you are comfortable with ... I'm ZERO when it comes to discipline, never believe in physical though I'm the type that uses words to solve problems, my words are like daggers!! Lol
Wordpress... I have all my pictures on flickr and then html them onto wordpress. Just use flickr lah.
do u keep the photos in the wordpress gallery or delete it?
I don't use wordpress gallery at all. All photos are linked to flickr.
babe, since stoping breastfeeding hor, it really helps in the detachment part :( caleb closer to the daddy now too which i m glad and is in a happier mode now that he is not so dependent on the boobies... good and bad hor we are all going to miss that "stickiness"!!!
interesting. so did the specialist give his opinion on why she screams? as in not only looking at the cure (ignoring her) but also identifying the cause.
hmm... as for his opinion on detaching, I'm not in favour of that, since I do attachment parenting. (Of course, must respect his opinion since he is an expert but there are also different schools of thought lah).
If you're still looking for pre-schools, you may like to consider Montessori pre-schools, at least for N1 and N2. They focus on building a child's sense of independence without sacrificing her sense of security. May help to 'detach' baby V in a more sensitive/less forceful way?
We are on the hunt for a pre-school now... the madness begins.
Ophe : I totally can see the change u koe.. Yes she does screams when she sees me but she has learned to fall asleep without the boobies! Esp the am part where she will eh eh eh ..
Pinkie: he notes that V is a strong willed gal, judging from her behaviour in the clinic... Ms Ng was screaming her head off and wanted EVERYTHING in his clinic... She didn't allow us to have a decent conversation and making noise everytime which made the session real long.. Thus giving the ability to make that judgment
i m a believer of attactment parenting and will continue doing so, this however can be done excluding bf-ing... I still do everything the same in the upbringing aspect. Just that I don't give in go her whimpers when she points to the boobies .. Hard hearted like what the dr say to do
i however if m in ur position will continue to bf as u r a working mum and will love the bonding part that u so miss when u r at work... For me n ophe however have to take a different approach as they are with us almost 24/7
school: will chat about the at the picnic!!!
Oh, I'm not referring to bf-ing. I think you've done a fantastic job with bf-ing already and if you want to stop, you're entitled to.
I'm referring to his view that you should ignore her. Goes against attachment parenting lor. Especially at this age when their separation anxiety is at its peak?
yes, let's brainstorm on pre-schools - I'm getting overwhelmed. :(
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