personal time

This week has been crazy...

I was in a terrible mood, the weather didn't help me much. In this pregnancy, it happened somewhere abouts the 3rd month at about March. I felt that surge of hormones being downloaded and it was pure irritable. Trev was in Germany and I though it was because I missed him.. called and there were tears and all. He came back and immediately wanted to bring me to go shopping, asked me if I needed a new handbag or something.... I actually rejected him. Ya to a new expensive something I didn't have to ask for.. hahha

So this round, it happened again. I was at Dr Han's yesterday.... as usual he asked his questions and I didn't have anything to ask. But I did however told him "I'm not sure if its the weather that is driving me insane, but I cannot tolerate incompetencies!" He and his nurse laughed, "That is pregnancy hormones, you are normal" But with Victoria I was not that irritated... I think.... *ponders.

Anyway It was affirmed that its just raging hormones, I am a person very sure of myself. Basically hardly a person who sways away from my values, or thoughts and mostly in control of my emotions. Most people can fuck me in the face, but I just will not get affected.. *sometimes. Ya I am strong like that... but I do cry. Thats my weakness.. and its also my strength. That's the way I release tension. .  I love crying movies, for they make me cry for no reason except for theirs.

I knew that I was at my breaking point a few days ago when I shouted at my Bam Bam (my dog). She had crystals in her pee and had treatment, made me real tired etc.. will not go into detail. But the gist of it was I shouted and had that urge to cry. I knew that was it..... like I mention, I may shout about but never in anger. V, Bam Bam and Trev do not get me screaming at them like a headless chicken, and I don't hit them (the child and the dog)  This round I was pissed. I knew at once this was it... I came back mediated, prayed... digged to the bottom. It hit me that I needed my personal space, I was frustrated coz I had piled up work that I wasn't able to complete. Ever since I returned, I had at each time in the house 2 helpers, my mil and her twin sister, 1 daughter and 2 crazy noisy dogs.

I wrote my husband an email... stating my case of my getaway this weekend. He accepted it, booked me a hotel of my choice. Yes he is supportive like this ... usually I will just book a ticket and fly away.. but I don't think i need to want to travel. Period

the deluxe room

my free mini bar snacks... topped up daily *yummy

my work space is just next to this... 

the cosy bed that I can crash

the view... just what i needed.. green and serene

It is just amazing... I just got in about 1.30 hours ago and have already got into my work mode. Yes I'm nazi like this... once I work, I forget to stop. But at least its productive to use 2 full days to get 1 month's work done and that once I am back home, I can play barbie, read, feed, bake with V without feeling guilty that my personal work is not completed. This is the result of having too many help, renting out my place to have no personal space. I usually can work at 11pm when the whole world has retired and I have peace... but at the last trimester, working at 11pm is no longer a luxury for lying in bed is more appealing.

I wonder at this point when is my next personal time out...