Trials and Tribulations

I have been wondering what to write about this topic. Trials and Tribulations.. in almost instant came this song.

Thank you, Lord,

for the trials that come my way.

In that way I can grow each day

as I let you lead,

And thank you, Lord,

for the patience those trials bring.

In that process of growing,

I can learn to care.

But it goes against the way

I am to put my human nature down

and let the Spirit take control of all I do.

'Cause when those trials come,

my human nature shouts the thing to do;

and God's soft prompting 

can be easily ignored.

I thank you, Lord,

with each trial I feel inside,

that you're there to help,

lead and guide me away from wrong.

'Cause you promised, Lord,

that with every testing,

that your way of escaping is easier to bear.

But it goes against the way

I am to put my human nature down

and let the Spirit take control of all I do.

'Cause when those trials come,

my human nature shouts the thing to do;

and God's soft prompting 

can be easily ignored.

I thank you, Lord,

for the victory that growing brings.

In surrender of everything

life is so worth while.

And I thank you, Lord,

that when everything's put in place,

out in front I can see your face,

and it's there you belong.

For those who have never heard this song before, it a praise song that I grew up with. It has NEVER fail to touch me,  chokes me EVERYTIME I hear or sing it. Praise seems like a big word to me, I don't think I have ever used this word till today. Grew up a born catholic and was co-erced to practice by attending church every sunday, catehism till 14 years. Was what most people think as a holey moley girl, with years of both primary and secondary in a IJ school. Well, I didn't end up one that shouts AMEN to everything. In fact I squirm when its heard, its like "seriously?" Get a grip... prayer is silent.

But the upbringing of being in this faith stays with me through and through. I say my prayers diligently (not over food, not before sleep) but in my heart when I need it. I make the sign of the cross before I drive daily, says a prayer whenever an ambulance drives passes me - empty or not.

I TRY to teach my girls virtues, grumbles at the husband when he shows ZERO empathy. Yes, I try to do my best. 

My faith in GOD has definitely increase over the years, I do see trials and tribulations happening often. I have learnt how to overcome it or rather tell god that everything is in his hands. Well, I was never like this. I used to curse and swear (still do but mainly as adjective rather than a noun) at things that didn't go right, or when I am put in a odd position, or when I am the centre of a joke, or when all things fail. I may say, yes I lost faith.

Many years ago, I went back to church. It was difficult but I just had to do it, the peace the serenity of the church ground comforted me and I remembered tearing when "Our Father" was being sung.  In a christian way, most will say "The holy spirt have touched me". For me - who is NOT holy, would say I missed this calmness.

I have no trial and tribulation that are worth mentioning coz I have attain a capability to keep them in a corner of my brain and NOT think about it. Today is another of those terrible days that I have to struggle with. Being a entrepreneur or not, mummy or not.. it just terrible having to chase for money. I detest when I am put in this position, it's like why??? It's freaking irritating. Then I had to deal with  crappiest property agents who are not competent to do this career. I had one humming and hawwwning on the hp, 3 out of 4 don't have enough information despite advertising. Best one of the lot is today, she really tested my patience -it was already depleting after a long day of chasing money. But as I end the day, I can just say- its only money.

I thank God, he hardly does this to me. But I take it as there is a lesson learnt with every trial and tribulations. The husband and I hardly listens to the sermon unless we get one who speaks dynamic or is charismatic. We are terrible in our own ways, yes we don't deny it. But that one day, some how we both heard the same message " NEVER ASK GOD WHY" for if u ask god why, he will put all trial and tribulations in front you. Just to make you understand!!!! I tell you!!!! with that message I have never asked God "why ah?"  Yes life has become easier to bear, we are happier. People actually envy us for we don't have big fights, we don't bring grievances to bed.  But I always tell them everything will be in place, just be patient.

If you do need to know, yes I go through T&T daily, from my health, my MIL issues, my parents, my business, the people I meet during my course of work, my parenting woes. Just to name a few... But I look at them as rants and not so much of a issues to write it out.

I must say I am happy.. has to be my happiest in many years. Reaching here has been a hard road, but just a tip *hang around with the positive and leave the negatives. I don't allow myself to be a punching bag for people to throw their emotions at.. family or friends. I am very open to walking away from gossips. I don't have issues to tell you to get a grip. It took me hard knocks to reach this phase in life, a phase you can only read/ watch about. I thank God for giving me this wonderful family that allows all T&T and turns it all candy, fairies dust and bubbles. Just a few giggles, squeals and hugs and everything melts away. I