Qing Ming 2013

I have never done Qing Ming before.

My sis messaged me to ask me if I was keen to visit my paternal Grandmother's grave in Choa Chu Kang. My dad wants to go and requested her for a lift, this time round we followed my relatives and managed to pay our respects.

I am 34 years old and it quite embarrassing to blog and tell everyone I have not seen my Mama's grave before. Since I became a mother, somehow there is that responsibility to know about my ancestral tomb. The rest of the Tay family are in a temple which I remember visiting from time to time when I was younger. My Mama requested to be buried and the land will be exhumed in 5 years time and maybe by then she can join everyone in that ancestral hall.

I'm not sure if it is taboo to blog about graves and all. But I think traditions must be passed down and I was ignorant to ignore them for so all. At least Victoria and Kate will have a chance to read about it in years down. We are Catholics and grave visiting relatives are usually during/on All Souls Day and additional one for my maternal family - Gong Gong birthday. Its a simple process, a bunch of flowers and candles, a prayer and some complains and updates to my grandfather hahhahha.

During my childhood days, me and my sis will follow my mom and Po Po, walk the whole cemetery and visit the greats greats grand parents to the greats, they will also take time to visit the deceased priests. The catholic cemetery is pretty organised, it goes by years. We will start the 1st row and visit them according to the year they passed on. It is done in a very traditional way,  very systematic, not much eerie... and we do get to see many beautiful tombstones along the way.  We pull weeds, wash with water (yea my mum brings water and all, very diligent), light candles, say 1 "Our Father, 3 Hail Mary, 1 Glory Be". Me and my sister were their entourage for prayers. Of course as years go by, I hardly go to the cemetery.

This time at the chinese cemetery, wa it was so complicated. We got lost looking at the numbers, despite us following our cousins in. It was a great smoke out as everyone was burning joss papers and thank god for the weather- which was NOT hot.  Finally after many times driving abouts, we found my Mama's tomb, Man it was so squeezy just to reach it!!! The so many obstacles and the many "excuse me" that I had to mutter under my breath!

My Mama, Li Lian Koay. Hokkien

Quite the pretty face isn't she? I didn't get a chance to see her as she passed on 1 year before I was born.  So yes it is the 1st time we get to "meet" each other. My cousin was just bragging to her that she got her 2 grand daughters visiting her for the 1st time. We did what we were told to do, most of the time my aunty just instructed us. Here is she cleaning up the Earth God tomb, and offering food, wine and incense. This has to be 1st thing to do, to thank him for looking after the tomb.

Next, My dad and his younger brother had to put special yellow paper on the tomb, while my aunty was cleaning and setting up the rest of the stuffs in front of the tomb.

She brought out a bag of clams and passed to my dad! You know the "hum" that we eat? Yea, she had them bland with hot water before hand. This is a Teochew traditions!!!! its suppose to bring wealth to the descendants!! So darn cool right? My uncle was busy eating the clams*gross, guess the shell was the one that is needed, not the flesh. 

After about 15 mins, the undertakers (I believe that is what they are called) or tomb maintenance, or grave consultants or spiritual collectors .... whatever they are called, came to collect money for they year. It costs $50 to maintain the tomb and extra if you need to paint it, re-grass, beautify it. 

 We spent another 10 mins rolling joss paper! I don't get to do this much, mum doesn't allow, but mum isn't here*winks! Aunty even wrote her name on some papers, I guess its to ensure it reaches the right mail. Its like snail mail right ahahha, just hope it goes to the right Lin Lian Koay.  I was happily rolling them, apparently the descendants have to do this to bring luck. Not sure what is the significance, but my cousin was saying that his mum strikes lottery a lot because she rolls paper. *emmm... Im sure that there is more logical explanation to it. I will find out or if you know, please leave me a comment.

OMG The amount of food she prepared! but its all in plastic bags... then again , sure got some sort of reasons. Maybe it is cleaner? But I reckon its not very environmentally friendly. I was told the birds and wild dogs eat them after we leave, I mean the physical form.

 We had to pray 3 rounds of joss sticks, and the last part will be burning paper money.

We obviously smoke out the whole place .. *traditions.

You know after we left... I told my sis to buy 4D, like why not hahaha. But she didn't coz there was a long Q and know what?  Her tombstone number came out as starter. Guess someone is telling us, thanks for coming down. :)

It was a great experience doing it, I mean you won't see me driving to CCK cementry just to do this!!! Its important to follow the instructions well.